When I hit rock bottom a few years ago, I had numerous self-destructive thoughts. When I tried to put them into action, a voice inside me stopped me from making decisions I would regret later. Instead, my inner voice led me to call a therapist helpline, and I registered for sessions. Recently, I read similar stories of people who were about to harm themselves but stopped in the nick of time because their inner voice prevented them from doing so.
Relieved that I did not take any regrettable steps, I asked myself some questions—where was my inner voice when I delved into self-pity and self-doubt? Where was it when I cried for hours? Why did it not show up when I was overwhelmed by every little thing in my life? I wondered if it was always there, and I did not pay heed to it.
The first time I realized my inner voice’s presence was when I was humiliated by my teacher in front of the class. She told me that I would amount to nothing based on my score in one test, and my inner voice had refuted her claim, ‘I’m definitely going to make something of my life in the future. This teacher is wrong.” However, as the harsh comments piled on from more people, my inner voice became more feeble until it disappeared completely one day.
After my therapy sessions and a lot of self-reflection, I could finally feel the presence of my inner voice again. This time I vowed to listen to it even if external factors began to bother me. I gave myself pep talks if I got anxious when things did not go as planned or made a mistake. ‘It’s okay,’ ‘I can do better next time,’ ‘I can learn from this,’ ‘I will not let their criticism get to me. Instead, I will try to look at it objectively’—these were my inner voices.
I believe our inner voice is an automatic self-boost tool we all possess but don’t use it often enough. It’s always inside us, ready to negate all our other pessimistic thoughts, but we ignore it and don’t realize its value. My inner voice has been my best friend ever since I understood its worth. I could filter out toxic people, false friends and focus on my mental health. I still feel down in the dumps sometimes, but I know that I can get through it through the power of my inner voice.